This FAQ

Is this FAQ official?

No.

Where is the official FAQ?

There isn’t one.

Who are you and what qualifies you to write this FAQ?

I ride a motorcycle in the San Francisco Bay Area and I read and contribute to rec.motorcycles and ba.motorcycles. I frequently see the same frequently asked questions asked, so I thought I’d make this page as a handy reference for the answers.

Are you a squid?

No. According to the Automated Squid Test, “So far, 1048 people (including you) have responded to this Squid Test Survey and have been tabulated. Of those responses, the average grade is 42. Your grade was 84 (from 0 to 100), and 0 out of the 115 questions were left un-answered. The average number of questions answered in this test is 52. A higher grade indicates a stronger sense of common decency, and a lower grade is an indication of conspicuous squidliness and general disregard for civilized society. Your score indicates that you are a fairly responsible motorcyclist but a bit of a wise-ass.”

Where did you get the answers to these questions?

Some of them I made up. Others I plagiarized borrowed from posts on the Internet because they answered the questions so well. Sometimes the answer is a sentence with the pronoun “I” in it—but that’s not always me talking.

What if I have questions you didn't answer?

Lately I've been getting questions about specific types of motorcycles, such as

I have a 620 Ducati multistrada and have enjoyed the first 1000 miles. … I would like to get a windshield with significantly more height, but Ducati can't find one. Can you recommend a customizing store (I'm in Houston, Tx).
I Have a 2000 Yamaha V-Star 1100 Classic. I want to remove the YAMAHA emblems on both side covers which are glued on. How can I do this and not scratch the paint? How do I get the glue off ? Thank You, Mike

I'm not an expert on every type of motorcycle, so instead of asking me, please use your news reader to visit the newsgroups such as rec.motorcycles and ask your question there. You're much more likely to get someone who knows about your specific model of motorcycle.
If you think the FAQ needs a question added, then please e-mail the author.

What's with all the ads?

Blatant commercialism. When you follow these links, I get money. That helps pay my ISP.

Newsgroups

What newsgroups is this FAQ for?

Specifically ba.motorcycles, alt.motorcycles, rec.motorcycles, and alt.motorcycles.sportbike, though the information is applicable to any motorcycle newsgroup.

Why those specific ones?

Because that’s what the author reads.

What is ba.motorcycles?

It’s a usenet news group for discussing motorcycles and related topics with a specific focus on the San Francisco Bay Area.

What is it okay to post about?

Just about anything, as long as it relates, even somewhat tortuously, to motorcycles.

Can I post for-sale ads or links to online auctions?

Yes. Please say something like Ad: in the post title and post it only in the appropriate newsgroups. Post a link to some pictures and information including price, condition, location, and how to contact you. Do not post the picture here. It’s spam if you post it in a lot of places and any inappropriate places.

Are there any forbidden topics or content?

Just the usual: spam, trolls, and binaries will annoy people, possibly enough to cause complaints to your ISP. If you notice that the topic has come wildly off-topic, then it’s best not to respond.
I would nominate posting a link to that gory picture on rotten.com that some idiot or other keeps posting every couple of months.

What’s the DoD?

The Denizens of Doom. You’ll have to check their FAQ for more information.

What about that gory picture published on rotten.com?

The picture is misrepresented. It is certainly not the result of a motorcyclist having an accident without a face shield. It’s either fake or the result of biting a blasting cap. Every couple of months some lame-brain posts the URL yet again. Supposedly the irresponsible assholes at rotten.com know that it was not the result of a motorcycle accident, yet they go on lying about the photograph instead of renaming it and changing the caption. If you should see the URL posted, usually with a subject heading like “reason for wearing full-face,” don’t even bother looking. It’s thoroughly gross and viewing it will not make you a better motorcycle rider. It may give you an unwanted opportunity to practice driving the porcelain bus.
Rotten.com calls it the result of a motorcycle accident because the picture file is labeled motorcycle.jpg. Supposedly the philosophy of the web site is to present gross and misinformative images in order to encourage critical thinking of their souces and, by extension, of all images seen on the Web.

Why should I quote the relevant parts of the post I’m responding to?

Newsgroups are not a guaranteed-delivery protocol. The original post might never get read by someone who reads your reply.

 

So that people can read the context and your reply in the order that actually makes sense.

Why should I put my replies at the bottom, after the quoted material?