Now why on God's green earth would a gay guy want to play hockey?

In 1993 I bought a pair of rollerblades at Play It Again Sports. I also got all the joint pads and went out 'blading. Pretty quickly I learned to go and stop, do turns and spins ... and I got bored. Then I found the hockey players at a local park. That looked like a lot of fun, so I joined in. Hockey requires a lot of stamina for skating back and forth, and skill for passing and shooting. I wans't very good, but I did have fun.

There was a boy there who always played in goal. One day I decided, just for the hell of it, to try playing in goal as well. Everyone told me that I was really good and should play in goal more often, so I did.
Timberwoof in net for the Moose, Spring, 1997
Photo Copyright © 1997 by Ralph Vallin

In September, 1995 I joined an inline hockey league as a brand-new goalie. I joined the Wolverines at the Skate 'n' Splash rink in San Jose. Playing in smelly borrowed equipment I got pretty good, so I started to buy my own. The Wolverines practiced every week, and thus we improved our skills. I quickly got much better and helped bring the team into the playoffs. The following season we moved to a different league. The team found me a goalie coach. He taught me a few things, but realized that he also had to teach the team a few things. I had hit a plateau in my development as goalie, and relations between me and some of the teammates became strained. Meanwhile, I started taking ice hockey lessons at the San Jose Ice Center. There I met players from other teams and got invited to practice with a PHA ice hockey team.

In September 1996 I joined the in-house hockey league at the Oakland Ice Center and became the goalie for the Moose, a Silver division team. My playing was adequate and improved in fits and starts thoughout the season. The team didn't practice regularly, so the teams and my dvelopment suffered. The Moose had long since promised their goalie position to a longtime friend, for the summer of 1997 I played with the Bulldogs.

In July, 1997 I went to a goalie clinic sponsored by the SJ Sharks. I learned a lot of specific skills and corrected my basic stance. Some of what I had picked up on my own was unproductive and I had some bad habits to unlearn. For about two weeks my playing style was completely fucked up -- I was confused between my old style and the new stance I had learned at the clinic. But I stuck with it and again my playing ability increased.

However, at the end of the summer season, the Bulldogs decided they needed some ringers if they were going to be competitive, so they ditched me and a few other players. I had barely a week to try to find another team. It turns out that another team had been looking for a goalie, but no one knew I was about to become available, so I missed out. I was not pleased with the way the Bulldogs had screwed me over.

During the 1997-98 season I played many pick up games and traveled with friends to two tournaments. My playing got better, but not as quickly as I had hoped. I took private lessons at the Hockey Workout in San Jose, but I do not feel that they have helped as much as they could have. I learned some drills that have helped me find my position in front of the net better, but I find myself conflicted between two different ways of dealing with breakaways that go tone side or the other. Because of the indicision in which way to counter the puck carrier's movement, I frequently make a confused, mishmash response. The season of puck up games and private lessons has not been as good for my development as a goalie as a season of playing with a team would have been.

(The Bulldogs went on to win every single game they played in the Silver division, frequently with blowout scores like 10-0. The Moose had a similar win record, but not with such lopsided scores. When the Bulldogs played the Moose, the Bulldogs won. In December the league officials finally noticed that something odd was happening, and moved the Bulldogs up to the Gold division, where they met more evenly-matched teams ... and began to lose many games. I saw one game where the Bulldogs lost 12-3 because their goalie didn't make it to the game and they could not find a backup. I htought that they should have asked me to play in nety for them -- and I would have refused. It turns out that I was not alone in thinking that way. Everyone I talked to resented the way the Bulldogs stacked their team with ringers just so they could win all the time. They are not well liked; no one in the league wants to play with them.)

For the 1998 summer I found a team in San Jose. They are beginners, but they have a lot of potential and enthusiasm. They are interested in having regular practices, which are essential for a team to improve its skills. I have learned enough about the game that I believe I can coach them during practices. In June I again participated in the Sharks goalie clinic. In August I played in the 1998 Gay Games in Amsterdam.

Since then I've been playing in a few league teams and pickup hockey.

Why Hockey?
Mainstream sports -- football, basketball, baseball -- turn me off; I think they're stupid. I had no interest in them, and being forced to play them in school did not help. Where football is a game of stars, hockey, like soccer, requires and rewards coordinated team play. But that's not really the reason.

Hockey has cool equipment. There's a sense of security I get from skating in hockey pads: I can zoom about fairly quickly, and even if I fall, I won't hurt myself (much).

Why Goalie?
People sometimes ask me why any sane person would stand in front of a net while other people are shooting pucks at him at upwards of 80 MPH. There are a lot of reasons...

equipment: Goalies get the best protective equipment. I'm a little guy, only 130# soaking wet, and putting on forty pounds of gear gives me a nice sense of power. In fact, now when I go skating without my gear, I feel naked and vulnerable.

important role: Every position on a team is important and has its responsibilities. But there is a greater focus on the goalie: he is the last line of defense in front of the goal. He has the last chance to stop a goal, and he is often the first person to start a breakout play. When the action is hot and fast in front of the net, it's the goalie's spectacular saves that people remember.

physical ability: Goaltending is a highly technical position. It requires some strength, a measure of endurance, and a lot of skill. I may look like the wimp I was in high school, but physically and mentally I'm far from it. I have developed the skills, strength and endurance I need to play the game fairly well.

mental ability: Goaltending is a game of focused attention. I need to watch the puck and what the teams are doing with it. I need to predict whether the puck handler will shoot or pass the puck and react appropriately. I need to have patience to let the breakaway happen and react to it rather than do something and have the puck carrier deke it around me. I need to be able to analyze and learn from my mistakes and successes.

fun: After spedning the first half of my life thinking of myself as an unathletic wimp, it's a tremendous rush to me to be able to play this tough game.

Health: I'm 37 years old, but I look more like 27. I am, in fact, healthier than I was at that age. And even then, I was already ahead of most of my high school classmates: I have not gone to fat.

What about Injuries?
Injuries happen in life. It's not a sin to get injured. Many common activities have inherent risks of injury and death; it is impossible -- and probably not desirable -- to eliminate all chance of injury. Hockey is an intense, exhilarating sport, and it carries with it increased dangers. To face those dangers I train and condition my body to increase its capacity for stress, reduce the likelihood of injury, and increase my recuperative powers. I also wear and maintain safety equipment that reduces the chance of injury. I have blocked shots with every part of my body ... and every part of me (in the front, at any rate) is armored to take it. Check out my Hockey Goalie Gear web page.