Hockey
In the Stands
Bulldogs (grey) v. Rangers, Summer, 1997
Photo Copyright © 1997 by Ralph Vallin
One of the teams in my division had apparently watched too much NHL hockey. What the Gems lacked in skill and talent they more than made up for in brawn and dirty playing.
One of the Gems was a little guy who had perfected the move of falling down in front of an opposing player, causing him to call on top of him and earn the penalty. He tended to play without shoulder pads and other important equipment. We called him"Showboat" and "Dorothy."
At a faceoff, a Gem once punched one of my defensemen -- and got a five-minute penalty. I asked my defenseman what had happened, and he explained it to me. "The guy called me a cocksucker -- he was trying to start a fight. So I just looked at him, shook my head, pointed at you, and said, 'No, that's him over there.' That's when he punched me."
I blocked a shot of theirs, and it ended up in the crease, halfway around behind me. I was on my pads and couldn't reach it as it lay there waiting to get tipped into the goal. One of my teammates just dove onto it, covering it up. That's illegal, so it earned the other team a penalty shot. My teammate's reasoning was that it was better to risk a penalty shot than to guarantee a goal. I shrugged and agreed.
I saw that the Gems had chosen Showboat to take the shot. I took my place in the goal crease and cleared my mind ... I'd let him make the first move. He skated towards me, I advanced on him, he made his move, and I blocked it.
Apparently Dorothy thought I had violated a God-given right to make penalty shots. For the rest of the game, he'd steal the puck away from his own teammates and then blindly rush at me with it. Two thirds of the time, my defensemen would poke-check it away from him. The other third I'd block his shot. Dorothy got madder and madder with each attempt.
Finally, with the score tied 4-4 and seconds left in the game, Dorothy got control of the puck and advanced on a breakaway. He shot -- and I blocked, then pounced and covered the puck. I felt some strange tappings on my helmet, then heard all kinds of scufflings and whistles blowing. I looked up and found that the ice around me had erupted in a brawl. Everybody was fighting everybody else. Three of my teammates left the bench to get in on the action.
In the lockerroom after the game, my teammates explained to me what had happened. When I covered the puck, Dorothy started hitting me with his stick! Of course, my teamies weren't having any of that, so two of them removed Dorothy from me. This was the excuse the Gems were looking for, and the brawl erupted.