A quantitative comparison of indications of heterosexuality and homosexuality.

Foreword (April, 2002)

I started this web page in August 1997. I got tired of maintaining this web page, and I didn’t know how popular this page had become. Meanwhile, Star Trek had been showing signs of coming around, so I removed this page from my web site. Recently I discovered that my server was getting a lot of requests for this page, and all from a single other web page, so here it is once again.

At this writing in April, 2002, Enterprise is relying a lot on TAB—tits, ass, and basket. (For you straight boys, “basket” refers to the bulge at your groin. Maybe you didn’t know it, but boys can be sexy, too. You have my permission to run away screaming.) Seeing Captain Archer walk around in his blue underwear is mildly entertaining, but not really enough to keep me interested. So I’m not going to spend a lot of time analyzing Enterprise for its sexual content. If you want to send me entries for this article that would be nice. I’ll add them.

Here, then, is the article...

Introduction (August, 1997)

People often complain in Star Trek newsgroups about the gay fans who demand to see a gay character on Star Trek. The complaint is that the heterosexual characters don’t parade their heterosexuality all over the place, so why should we be able to recognize the homosexual ones? This document lists, by character, incidents that overtly indicate sexual orientation. Draw your own conclusions.

By “overt” I mean any character relationship or story event that clearly indicates a character’s sexual orientation. (I assume that by the 25th Century, people will be open enough about their sexuality that gays won’t be tricked by well-meaning psychologists into marrying MOTOS and having children. Thus siring or bearing children, for the purposes of this essay, is an indication of sexual orientation.)

“Covert” incidents are hints and allegations: characters’ actions not backed up by any further information and which thus cannot be used as evidence for anything. Wesley Crusher, for instance, hangs out with men a lot, but we “know” he’s straight. Since the meanings of covert incidents cannot be unambiguously interpreted, they are not discussed at great length here. Some events are, however, listed in the appendix.

Overt Heterosexuality in Star Trek

Prehistory

Captain Christopher Pike

• Secretly loved green Orion women.
• Had three human women selected for him as mates by aliens who could read his and the women’s minds.

Classic Star Trek

Captain James T. Kirk

• Got the bimbo in almost every Classic Trek episode.
• Had at least one son out of wedlock.
• Pretended to ignore Yeoman Rand, but when he got split into two, his “evil” half tried to rape her.
• Fell deeply in love with Edith Keeler and was devastated when he had to allow her to die.

Mr. Spock

• Had an entire episode, “Amok Time,” devoted to his heterosexuality.
• Temporarily freed of Kolinar by a planet’s drugs, played around on a tree and loved an Earth woman.
• Temporarily freed of Kolinar by a time machine, loved a woman banished to an ice age (and, according to a novel, sired a son).

Dr. McCoy

• Fell in love with a woman, Natira, and basically married (and subsequently abandoned) her in “For the World is Hollow and I Have Touched the Sky.”—Julia

Lt. Commander Montgomery Scott

• Had a girlfriend who got invaded by the Lights of Zetar.
• Had a girlfriend who got invaded by Jack the Ripper.

Lieutenant Uhura

• In the alternate universe pretended to have a crush on Sulu.

Lieutenant Sulu

• In the alternate universe had a crush on Uhura.

Nurse Chapel

• Was in love with a cyberneticist who made androids.
• Had such a crush on Mr. Spock that she lost all sexual interest in other people.

Ensign Pavel Chekov

• On Mudd’s Planet, found a pair of android bimbos to keep him company.
• Fell for a hippie on her way to Eden.

Harcourt Fenton Mudd

• Sold a drug that made women beautiful…
• to women who wanted to be married…
• to masculine woman-loving he-men…
• and found a planet of beautiful female androids.

Yeoman Janice Rand

• Had a crush on Captain Kirk.

Ensign Whats-Her-Name

• Fell for a Greek God in “Who Mourns for Adonis?”

Ensign whats-her-name

• Fell for Khan.

Star Trek: The Next Generation

Captain Jean-Luc Picard

• Had a thing with Dr. Beverly Crusher.
• Had at least one illegitimate son.
• Had a thing with an anthologist bimbette.
• Had a thing with a stellar cartographer.
• Raised a family on planet whose sun was dying.
• Eventually married Beverly Crusher.

Commander William T. Riker

• Had a crush on Lt. Commander Deana Troi.
• Had a crush on Menuette, a Holodeck character.
• In a fantasy world created by an alien boy who could (mostly) read his mind, married Menuette and sired … the boy.

Dr. Beverly Crusher

• Bore a son with Captain Crusher.
• Talked about men with Diana Troi.
• Had breakfast with Captain Jean-Luc Picard. A lot.
• Had a thing with an ancient Irish ghost.
• Had a thing with a Trill while it inhabited a male host but dumped it when it got into being female. (Her excuse was that she couldn’t handle the Trill taking on a different form all the time.)
• Eventually married Jean-Luc Picard.

Lieutenant Commander Geordi LaForge

• Had a crush on Dr. Leah Brahms, warp drive engineer.
• Had bad luck all the time chasing after Enterprise women.

Lieutenant Commander Worf son of Maug

• Had an illegitimate son with Starfleet’s Ambassador to the Klingon Empire.
• Was momentarily attracted to the Klingon woman Riker-Q gave him.
• Dated Lt. Commander Deana Troi.
• Is constantly giving human men advice on how to snag Earth girls.
• Dated and finally married Commander Jadzia Dax.

Lieutenant Yar

• Freed of inhibitions by a disease in the first season, had a crush on Data.

Ensign Wesley Crusher

• Had a thing with Ensign Leffler.

Dianna Troi

• Talked about men with Beverly Crusher.
• Had had a fling with Will Riker.
• Dated Lieutenant Commander Worf.
• In an alternate universe, was married to Worf.

Lwaxana Troi

• Had a crush on Commander Riker.
• Had a crush on Captain Picard.
• Had a crush on a solar physicist.
• Had a crush on a hoity-toity alien ambassador.
• Escaped the clutches of an evil Ferengi by pretending to have a crush on him and making Captain Picard pretend he had a crush on her.
• Had a crush on Deep Space Nine Security Chief Odo.

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine

Commander/Captain Benjamin Cisco

• Married a woman and sired a son.

Commander Jadzia Dax

• Fell in lust with, dated, and married Commander Worf.

Lieutenant Commander Worf son of Maug

• (See his entry under the Next Generation.)

Lieutenant Commander Dr. Bashir

• Had a crush on Commander Dax.

Lieutenant Kira Narisse

• Dated a Bajoran high priest.
• Had a thing for Security Chief Odo.
• Suffered a crush by her Evil Double from the Alternate Universe.

Lieutenant O’Brien

• Married a woman and sired two children.

Doctor Whats-his-name

• While researching Genuine People Personalities for his new line of hologram doctors, fell in lust with a Bajoran woman who was really in love with...

Rom, Quark’s brother

• Had a son, possibly illegitimate.
• Loved a Bajoran Davo-girl.

Star Trek: Voyager

Captain Janeway

• Is too busy with her ship to get involved with men. (Hah! Gotcha! She’s too busy with the ship to get involved with anyone—male or female—so this one doesn’t count.)

Lieutenant Tuvak

• Has a wife and kids at home

Neelix and his Alien Bimbo

• Clearly love one another.

Overt Homosexuality in Star Trek

Lieutenant Kira Narisse

• Kira Narisse from the Alternate Universe apparently had a crush on her double from Our Universe. But Our Kira Narisse didn’t share it.

Other than this, no information on overt homosexual relationships in Star Trek is available. If you know of any cases, please e-mail the author.

Conclusion

Clearly Star Trek considers homosexuality so normal, so average, so utterly boring that it doesn’t need to write or say anything about it. Meanwhile, it feels the need to reassure its 20th Century Earth audience that heterosexuality is a normal, natural, and acceptable alternate lifestyle, so it liberally sprinkles minor hints and allegations of heterosexuality throughout all of its stories.

While gay people are expected to rest assured without any evidence that any of the characters, bit players, or extras are in fact gay, straight people need not fear, for their favorite characters have hinted once in a while, without parading their sexuality all over the place, that they are indeed heterosexual.

Appendix A: Covert Homosexuality in Star Trek

Incidents that some might point to and say, “See there! That is a gay character!” but lack any concrete evidence such as that listed in the Overt Heterosexuality section.

• After completing an deal a male arms trader grabbed a male Ferengi by the ears and said, “I love you,” but there was no other confirmation of either of their sexualities. (This is significant to fans of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine becuase the male Ferengi’s ears are sexually sensitive.)
• Fajo was a vicious queen who stole objets d’art, wanted a male android to walk around naked, and killed people in horrible ways.
• Wesley Crusher hung out with some interesting men once in a while.

Appendix B: Transsexualism, Transvestitism, and Related Events

Incidents that illustrate alternate biologies and alternate customs, but do not illustrate homosexual relationships.

• Dr. McCoy misidentified Tribbles as “bisexual.”
• The G’nai were a race of asexual beings. Riker fell in love with one deviant who decided it was female.
• A renegade Starfleet captain found a device with which she could swap bodies with Captain Kirk. For a time Kirk found himself in the body of a woman, but was too busy appealing a death sentence for him and Spock to consummate their rumored love for each other.
• A Ferengi woman dressed as a man so she could make profit. Dax and the cross-dressing Ferengi were discussing Quark. Believing that the Ferengi in front of her was a man, Dax asked, “You really love him, don’t you?” On discovering the Ferengi’s true sex, she said, “You’re a woman?!”
• During the first season of Star Trek: The Next Generation, men were occasionally seen wandering the halls of the Enterprise D wearing skirts. But two very heterosexual Starfleet officers and gentlemen, Lt. Commander Scott and Lt. O’Brien, were occasionally seen wearing kilts.
• Ferengi men are constantly running around Star Trek: Deep Space Nine and a few other episodes, exposing their erogenous zones to public view. Exhibitionism, associated in some people’s minds with homosexuality, is here displayed by self-avowed, practicing heterosexuals.

Appendix C: Related Articles on the Web