nasty little vermin who sold out to the Keebler company and market
chocolate chips give real Elves a bad name. No, generally we do
not live in trees. No, we dont squander our magic on cookies.
And no, were not fairies!
of fairies, I will one of these years assemble a host to rescue
Peter Pan from his captors. They must have drugged him or put a
charm on him, for not even a lowly fairy would sell peanut butter
for a living. We will break in to those Corporate Offices and make
away with the greatest fairy of all
and if it turns out he
went willingly, well cut off his peanuts!
just wish I could snap my fingers and make all your silly misconceptions
but my magic doesnt work like that. I will
simply toil away the years, rebutting common misconceptions with
truth, hoping that the wise among you will see.
were not trying to take over or turn everyone
into Elves, and no, we do not insist that Elvish ways be taught
to your Man-children in school. Fear not: they are Children of Men,
and thats that. No amount of education is going
to turn them into Elves. Your children are not going to suddenly
come home listening with pointy ears to the tunes of magical harps.
All we ask is that you teach your children that Elves exist, that
we are sentient beings like themselves, and that we deserve to be
treated with common decency and respect.
Out as an Elf